My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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