My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
