The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
