how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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