Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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