I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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