drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
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