I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize