South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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