You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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