This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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