ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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