you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
