Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
