Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize