He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
