I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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