i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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