just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
