Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
