it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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