That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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