Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
