Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You need a sexual gate keeper
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
