At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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