what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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