Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize