She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
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I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
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I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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