we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
