Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Buhtt sex?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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