He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Fuck appropriateness.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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