I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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