You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
worst night to have a conscience
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
