i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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