I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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