I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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