I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
