Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
