i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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