Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
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Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
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There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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