i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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