dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
