Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
