i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize