At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she told me i tasted like america
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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