sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
