the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
