i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
