i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
