Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
