It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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