So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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