Screwed.edu
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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