we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
