I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
