Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
