This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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