he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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