Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize