i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
