you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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